


Juxtaposition

by Casandravus



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4832906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casandravus/pseuds/Casandravus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 'Cool Type' and the 'Natural Type' put together gives a contrast of outstanding color.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Playlist for Haruhi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A all-night study session in Music Room #3 leads Haruhi to the music of the Shadow King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fic I read on this site inspired me to think about what kind of playlist Kyoya would have to help him deal with his feelings for Haruhi. Italics are for both thoughts and song lyrics; it'll be made clear which is which. Also Kyoya is really hard to write in-character in emotional situations for me... Hope you enjoy!

"Kyoya-senpai?" Haruhi's voice snaps him from his reverie.  
  
"Yes, Haruhi?"  
  
The Host Club has been studying in Music Room #3; it's exams week so the administrators are letting students stay overnight on campus on conditions of safety and signed contracts. It's late and everyone's exhausted, although Tamaki and the twins are still managing to make a racket.  
  
"Do you have a music player I can use? I have my headphones, but my music player died. I didn't think to bring the charger for it, sorry."  
  
He quirks a brow at her as he adjusts his glasses. "You study better with music?"  
  
She tosses an annoyed look at the hyperactive trio. "It depends. If there's too much outside noise, it helps; if you don't have it, it's fine, I just thought you'd be the best person to ask..."  
  
He smiles at her and pulls out a small device. "Here, feel free to borrow the charger as well," he says, quickly pulling his earbuds out and handing the bundle to her. "I must warn you, my music taste is rather eclectic. Unexpected, even."  
  
"That's fine, Senpai. Thank you," she gives a small bow and returns to her corner of the room, unlocking the device and putting her headphones on. "Ah, much better," she sighs as she curls into herself, reading a text for her English class.  
  
It takes a few minutes for him to remember the playlist; by then, he's too tired to care. Kyoya finds a couch to stretch out on and quickly sets his glasses on a coffee table before drifting to sleep. _If she finds it, she finds it. Her reaction will be interesting to watch, at any rate._

* * *

  
_Another instrumental piece; very Kyoya-senpai,_ Haruhi thinks to herself. She gasps as she realizes the time: 2:00 a.m. _It's been that long!? Ah shoot..._  
  
She glances around the room; all the boys - including Kyoya - are asleep. _May as well take this time to do my maths - what's this?_ The 'playlists' option pops up on the music player's screen. Interested, Haruhi follows the prompt and sees that Kyoya has **dozens** of playlists: Flights, Drives, Call Holds, Elevator Music - the brunette quietly giggles at that - Family, Writing, Studies, Train Rides... It seems the man has a playlist for **everything**. _Maybe music helps him deal with things since he's so reserved._  
  
That doesn't explain the  Haruhi playlist though. The font for it is different from the rest; it's a soft purple with a diamond on each side. With another look at a still-sleeping Kyoya, she clicks it excitedly. _No one's ever done something like this for me. Hope he's not too mad when he wakes up._  
  
Hyde's "Season's Call" is the first one to play, and it surprises her. _Why would this make him think of me?_ she asks herself, nodding her head to the beat. _Maybe the power of emotion behind it? I don't know_. Kyoya's music player is on shuffle, so when she clicks the 'next' button, "First Love" by Utada Hikaru plays in her ears. Her eyes widen and she gives a small gasp. _Well, there's no misinterpreting **that**. Let's see what's next, maybe it was a fluke..._  
  
Song after song, his heart opens itself to her. She almost feels dirty, like she's stolen a secret, but the small pulse of happiness running through her eases the guilt. Haruhi's surprised most by a favorite song of hers coming on; tears prick her eyes, and she skips it to keep from crying.  
  
A few minutes later, she's silently sobbing in spite of herself. It's a new version of a song her dad likes; to her in this moment - emotional and sleep-deprived at 2:25 a.m. - it sounds like an unrequited love song, particularly two stanzas:  
  
_People writing songs_  
_That voices never share_  
_And no one dare_  
_Disturb the sound of silence_  
_"Fools" said I, "you do not know_  
_Silence like a cancer grows_  
_Hear my words that I might teach you_  
_Take my arms that I might reach you"_  
_But my words like silent raindrops fell_  
_And echoed in the wells of silence_  
  
This song practically screams 'Kyoya': withdrawn but desperately reaching out for love and acknowledgement. Haruhi feels blindsided, although she can't quite place why. I can't study like this. I need to sleep. She rubs her eyes with a shallow breath as she stands. Despite her tears, she puts the song on repeat - she feels safe with his music (his heart) ringing in her head.


	2. One Step Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if the last dance at Ouran Fair had gone a little bit differently?

Cutting into Tamaki's romantic moment for a dance with Haruhi feels like a swan song, but that's all right. It's a beautiful way to end a beautiful night after a long and grueling day for them all.   
  
In pushing her back to his friend, Kyoya expects an uncomplicated ending to the whole affair. He expects the blonde to sweep her off her feet and confess his love before the night is out.   
  
Somehow, he's forgotten that Haruhi has never been one to just do what's expected. 

* * *

Five, maybe ten minutes pass, before Haruhi surprises him by grabbing his hand when he isn't looking. They start to dance.   
  
"Well isn't this an interesting notion," the Shadow King says with a particularly feline grin.   
  
She laughs. "Tamaki-senpai is cool and all, but I just don't seem him that way," she confesses. "I'm horrible, aren't I?"   
  
"Did you tell him so?" Kyoya asks with a quirked brow.   
  
"Yeah, he seems fine," she tilts her head toward the Prince, who's dancing with a girl a minute. "I mean, he's hurt about it - but he said that should pass soon enough."   
  
"Knowing him, it probably will."   
  
Haruhi giggles. "You're wondering why I'm dancing with you, right?"   
  
"Frankly, yes. I'd thought you would still be with Tamaki now."   
  
The girl bites her lower lip. "I thought so too, Kyoya. I just can't be with someone that I have no desire to."   
  
He nods, still wondering why she's chosen to come back to _him_ , of all the (former) Host Club members. "You still haven't answered my question."   
  
"I'll explain after the party," she promises, and still they dance.

* * *

The afterparty is a quiet affair, mostly cleaning aup, talking with family members, and planning Honey and Mori's graduation festivities. After about half an hour, Haruhi excuses herself to an outside balcony. The night air smells of flowers and fireworks dust and it entrances her.   
  
"Haruhi?"   
  
"Hi, Kyoya."   
  
"You've definitely dropped the _-senpai_ ," he observes with a smile. "Good."   
  
She gently bumps her shoulder into his arm before looking up at him. "It just feels really weird to call you -senpai when I see you as more than that, you know?"  
  
Kyoya's dark eyes widen and his mouth forms a small 'o'. "...Really now?"   
  
"I've been thinking about it since the beach house," she tells him. A cackle escapes her as he nearly trips over himself in surprise. "The Mighty Shadow King thrown off by a small tanuki, eh?"   
  
Red-faced, Kyoya runs a hand through his hair. "You could say that, I suppose," he answers with a cough. "Logic doesn't exactly factor in wild cards like yourself."

* * *

Watching the two of them flirt on the balcony, Tamaki smiles. The rejection hurts - to deny that would be lying to himself - but their happiness has a way of easing the pain. "All's well that ends well," he sighs, and is surprised when Renge's fingers wrap around his own.


	3. Secrets Come Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes stress, sometimes grief... It makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do. Even Haruhi is susceptible to it, but luckily there’s one Host who notices and knows what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with anxiety, depression, and self-injury; skip it if that makes you uncomfortable or triggers you. The characters may be (/are probably) slightly out of character, but mental illness changes your character and how you see yourself.

It starts when Haruhi misses a cosplay day; these days are particularly helpful for working off her debt, so Kyoya makes a note in his ledger when she doesn't show. The other Hosts text her throughout the day, as do a select few of her regular guests. She doesn't reply to most of the messages, but she does call Kaoru's phone and asks to be put on speaker.

"Hi guys - and guests!" she says as loudly as she can, trying to be heard over the idle chatter. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to show up today; I wasn't feeling well and I thought it'd be best to stay home. I'll see you all tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, Haruhi! Feel better soon!" five of the Hosts and the guests call out.

The twins hand the phone to Kyoya. "Get well soon, Haruhi. Let me know if you need a doctor, all right?"

He can almost see her blush through the phone. "Thanks, Senpai. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

True to her word, Haruhi returns the next day; the Club puts together a last-minute cosplay day. It's a cosplay they've already done - police officers - but they've modified the uniforms to be different colors based on rank from a video game the twins liked to play as children. Most of the guests flock to Haruhi, asking if she's okay and such.

"I'm fine, ladies. Thank you for thinking of me - how are all of you?"

The girls get hyper at being asked about themselves and their lives; Haruhi's grateful for the diversion. Customers change between classes, but the routine is the same: guests ask how she's doing, give her gifts (cards and her favorite 'commoner candy', mostly, with some bringing flowers), and she diverts the attention from herself.

At the end of the day, Kyoya makes another note in his ledger; this time, it has a dateless reminder. _Talk to Haruhi_.

"Wow, Haru-chan!" Honey chirps excitedly. "You got a lot of gifts and a lot of candy!"

She smiles. "You can have some of the candy if you want, I don't have room in my place for it, and it'll melt in the heat anyway."

The small third-year notices that something's off in her tone. "Are you sure, Haru-chan? Are you really okay?"

Her brown eyes widen just a fraction. _Damn these rich bastards and their perception_. "I'm fine, Honey-Senpai. I promise. I have to go study so I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Bye, Haruhi!" the twins and Tamaki yell as she leaves.

As she heads to the door, Kyoya catches her wrist and catches the almost-inaudible hiss that escapes her lips. He makes to say something but decides against it, and lets her go.

* * *

 

"Haruhi hasn't really been Haruhi in a while," Ranka says over the phone as he gets ready for his nightshift. "I'm trying to get her to open up, Kyoya, but she's not budging. I'm worried about her, but I can't find any proof to get her to tell me what's wrong!" tears come to his eyes. "I'm her father, and I can't do a damn thing for her! I'm sorry, Kyoya," he finishes with a sigh. "I'm supposed to be the adult here, not you..."

It's been about a week since Haruhi missed a Club day but something's still wrong, and the Shadow King is on a mission.

"I'm worried as well, which is why I called," the black-haired teen confesses while laying on his bed. "Have you noticed anything strange? Changing in clothing and eating habits, things like that?"

Ranka's trust in this boy runs deep. "Now that you mention it, she's not been eating like she normally does, and she's been sleeping a lot more recently. Haruhi's also been more... Withdrawn, I guess. I just thought it was because of testing rigors, do you think it's depression?"

"Mixed with anxiety," Kyoya says with a solemn certainty. "I haven't seen her have anxiety symptoms myself, but the twins are keeping in touch. She had to excuse herself from class to go to the restroom today, which is rare for her. They said she was gone for about twenty minutes. I suspect other things, but I need to talk to her before I jump to any conclusions. I - " there's an abrupt pause as something occurs in the background. He groans in frustration. "I hate to do this, but I have to go to a family function - please feel free to call me any time, Ranka. Be safe; I'm doing my best to get a good team together for Haruhi."

"Thank you." Ranka hangs up and spends the next hour crying. He feels he's let Haruhi, Kotoko, and Kyoya down.

* * *

 

The day after calling Ranka, Kyoya requests that the other Hosts go home early so he can stock inventory and set up for a midterm celebration. "Haruhi will stay behind and help me," he says, adjusting his glasses. "She needs to put some non-Hosting time into her debt."

Glad to be done early for once, the other Hosts leave with little argument. Tamaki makes a quip, but Mori pushes him from the room, and they all take a limousine to the Hitachiin mansion for a day of gaming and website updating.

It's under these circumstances - alone in Music Room #3, with no distractions - that Kyoya sees Haruhi have an attack.

They're setting up the buffet display when Haruhi starts hyperventilating.

"Haruhi, please put the plates on the table and sit on the couch," he instructs calmly. When she does as asked, he quickly locks the door. "Breathe, Haruhi."

"I-I-I- c-c-can't," she says through restricted air. "I-i-t h-h-h-h-hurts."

Kyoya kneels before her, gently placing a hand on each of her knees. "Look at me, Haruhi. Inhale through your nose for four counts; exhale through your mouth for the same."

She earnestly tries to do as he says, but her thoughts are racing. Her eyes dart everywhere and she's starting to shake. "I-i-i- d-d-d-don't think I-i-i-i c-c-can d-d-do this..."

"Try to keep eye contact with me. Do you think you can do that?" After she successfully meets his eyes for more than a minute, he silently demonstrates how he wants her to breathe. "It'll be a bit difficult at first, but it does help. I use this technique regularly when I'm under stress."

Her eyes widen. She hasn't thought of Kyoya as being someone who has to cope with stress to this extent - he's her definition of the 'cool type' of man in every sense of the phrase. Somehow, knowing this helps him relaxes her a bit.

"Very good," he smiles. "The count really doesn't matter; it's the evenness of the breath that has the desired effect. Even numbers tend to be the most rhythmic," he continues conversationally. "I'm going to check your pulse now; may I see your left wrist, please?"

Haruhi flushes, but apprehensively gives him her arm while breathing. She looks away to avoid his nonverbal reaction.

When he pushes the sleeve back, he's upset - but not surprised - to see bandages. "When was the last time these were changed out?" he inquires mildly, noticing the faded color on the outer edges.

"A couple days ago... I kind of forgot, to be honest, because it doesn't hurt too bad."

"The breathing is helping you calm down, then?"

"Yeah, it is. Thank you, Kyoya."

He traces the bandages and finds the clip holding them together. He drops her arm for a moment and retrieves a medical kit from a nearby cabinet. "I'm going to have to take these off and change them; it may hurt a bit, if you've used adhesive."

"No, I just washed them with water and soap, used some anti-infectant stuff, then applied the bandages after drying my arm. I thought the chemicals in bandage adhesive would make it worse."

He looks solely at her arm as he unwraps the bandages. Hurt flashes across his face in spite of his mostly calm composure, and this is what prompts her to speak again.

"Kyoya...?"

"There's no infection, thankfully," he says slowly, putting the dirty bandages aside. "But I need to clean your arm before I can re-cover it. Walk with me to the sink, please."

She obliges silently, thankful that he's not yelling at her. "Kyoya, I - "

"You can explain after I finish what I'm doing, although I appreciate you wanting to disclose now."

The sheer tenderness in how he holds her hand, in how he makes sure the water's not too hot for her skin... Something about it is reassuring. He's a physician at heart, of course he's going to have compassion in mending injuries. I wonder if he's ever seen anything like this, though.

"Remember the breathing I showed you," he interrupts her thoughts quietly. "It'll help you stay still while I apply the disinfectant and bandages."

Haruhi goes back to her four-count breaths and closes her eyes. She feels the disinfectant's sting, and whistles in relief when the new bandages are clipped. "Is this why you had the others leave early? How long have you - "

"Yes, and we can discuss the rest over dinner; where do you feel most comfortable eating?"

* * *

 

Per Haruhi's request, they have pizza delivered to her place. She's annoyed, yet touched, that he calls Ranka.

"Ranka, it's me. We're fine; Haruhi and I are having pizza at your apartment, is that all right?" There's a short pause in the conversation. "Yes, everything will be fine - I'll update you later. Do you feel uncomfortable with me staying the night here and - ?"

"Of course not!" Ranka yells hotly, loud enough for Haruhi to hear. His voice drops again, saying something she can't quite hear.

She looks at Kyoya quizzically when his cheeks gain a pink tinge. "You're welcome, Ranka. I'll call you when I get home tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night Haruhi-chan! I love you!"

"I love you too, Dad," she answers. "Good night."

When the call ends, Kyoya gives her a steely look accompanied by a quirked eyebrow.

"All right, all right," she puts her hands up in a defensive gesture. "I'll explain now. Make yourself comfortable, we're gonna be here for a while."

"I'm staying the night here anyway; we have time." He can't help but chuckle at the heat rising to her face.

"So when did all of this start?" He questions between bites of pizza.

"About a month ago; that's when the nightmares came."

"Nightmares? What about?"

She looks away in shame, tears pricking at her eyes. "Do... You promise not to laugh?"

Kyoya's thrown off when she asks. "Of course I won't laugh."

"My mom died peacefully in the hospital, but in my sleep, it's worse than that; most of the nightmares are about Mom, but some... Some of them are about the Host Club."

Before he can stop himself, he takes her hand. "My condolences for your loss, Haruhi. What about the Host Club? What happens?"

Haruhi's grip isn't quite a squeeze, but is firm. "Something happens to each Host. Death, moving out of the country, disinheritance, something... One by one, until all of you disappear and I'm all alone. Alone on a wide, wide sea; never a saint took pity - "

"-On my soul in agony. Coleridge is one of my favorite English poets," he finishes. "Does being alone scare you?"

"Yeah. I should be used to it, with Dad working nights and not having had many friends 'til I met you lot, but it still bothers me." She sighs. "This time of year is always really bad for me, too; exams are hell, and Mom's birthday and anniversary are back-to-back."

"Do you always resort to self-injury?" Kyoya asks, rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb.

"Oh, no, this is the first time the pain's ever been this bad," her voice is surprisingly candid considering the seriousness of their discussion. "About the cutting: it only happened twice - the cosplay day that I missed, and then the day before yesterday. That's the last time I got new bandages; thank you for changing them out."

"You're welcome. What caused you to cut?"

"The first time was after I got called to the academic office... My grades have been slipping and if I'm not careful, I'll lose my scholarship. The stress of it put me in a panic, and the next thing I know, I'm bleeding," she shakes her head. "The second time - day before yesterday - I don't even know what triggered it! I was crying and grabbed something and... I'm smarter than that! I don't know how this got so out of hand."

She takes a breath before continuing. "Now here you are, in my living room, dealing with my stupidity... You have probably a thousand different things to do, but you're stuck babysitting me instead. Better you than Tamaki-senpai, though."

He chuckles, stretching his legs. "I'm going to respectfully disagree with you on that, Haruhi. Here I am, in your living room, spending my free time enjoying your company - although the circumstances are less than ideal. Here I am, doing what I can to be of assistance. Here I am, checking to make sure one of my Hosts is well - although your Hosting is not even close to being my main priority."

Helping her stand, he concludes, "Here I am, falling in love with you, despite my efforts to not be so foolish."

Haruhi gapes at his back as he walks into the kitchen. _Falling in love... With me? He's almost got to be having me on_. The girl runs a hand through her hair, looking toward her mother's shrine. Is there love in Heaven, Mom? Is this what it feels like? She's startled from thought when Kyoya's hand clasps her shoulder.

"You should probably get showered and go to sleep," he tells her. "Before that, I'm going to need to give you new bandages again."

As they enter the bathroom, she hops onto the sink. Wordlessly, she hands him her arm.

"These are healing quite nicely," he says conversationally. "I don't think there will be any scarring, either. You did a decent job with giving the wounds the proper care they need."

Silence reigns for a few minutes before she speaks. "Ah... Kyoya? You're not going to tell the others about this, are you? The other Hosts?"

"While I believe the Club can be a formidable support system, I'm leaving that to your discretion. I'm not one to break confidences when it's not needed."

She bites her lip. "What about Dad?"

He stops what he's doing to adjust his glasses again before rubbing an ointment on each individual cut. "Ranka needs to be informed; I'll call him shortly. I trust you're not planning on harming yourself again?"

"Definitely not."

"Good."

Haruhi looks from her arm, to Kyoya's glasses, and back again. "Kyoya... You're not really falling in love with me, are you?"

The Shadow King flushes, though doesn't miss a beat with what he's doing. "I am. All of us in the Club have romantic feelings for you to some degree."

"That explains Tamaki-senpai and Hikaru's obnoxious behavior... But Mori-senpai? Honey-senpai? And you? Totally not expected."

He just laughs as he finishes clipping the bandages. "In all honesty, Haruhi, I wasn't expecting it either. I can't even tell you exactly when I started feeling this way. I know you're not in a healthy state for any sort of relationship - there's no honor in admitting feelings for gain... I just thought you'd like to know that I do care, although it often doesn't seem so." As though she were a porcelain doll, he helps her down from the sink. "Good night, Haruhi."

 

"Good night, Kyoya,” she smiles up at him. “Thank you for everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> Story Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club, any of its characters, trademarks, or other properties.
> 
> This is my first OHSHC story! I've always been a fan of Kyoya/Haruhi... This will be a drabble/one-shot series for them. Not all entries will be connected; I have a lot of ideas for this ship and I plan to write as many of them as I can.


End file.
